My Story
What I Do
My name is Ryan Fowler. I searched for decades to end my own depression (see "MY STORY" below). The cure, when I found it, vastly exceeded my expectations. I not only cured my depression, I found a key to the universe, a methodology that may be used to heal and empower every aspect of one's soul. I found a special type of hypnotherapy. This methodology allows one to laser-focus on inner trauma, bring it out, and clear it forever. The trauma is then replaced with feelings of wholeness, validation, stability, and empowerment. I learned to speak a language the subconscious mind understands.
This allows me to program beneficial "core belief systems" into one's subconscious. Core belief systems are incredibly powerful. They dictate 95% of the decisions we make in life, whether we're aware of it or not. By far, they determine one's success or failure, happiness or misery in every aspect of our lives. So why not remove bad beliefs and replace them with the best ones? That's what I do for both myself and others.
I consider myself a work in progress (we all are), and yet I've permanently reprogrammed more than a dozen of my own major belief systems. As a result, my depression is gone, my anxieties have greatly diminished, my fitness has improved, my income has nearly doubled (well into the 6 figures), my success with women has increased, I've stopped tolerating bullshit, and I'm happier and more hopeful than ever. I use this system with my clients and, although I don't guarantee results, I'm constantly amazed by the rapid, permanent beneficial transformations the overwhelming majority experience. Though I'm successful in my other ventures, I feel I must share what I've learned with the world.
I know how many struggle today. Our society treats men poorly. This is especially devastating during childhood. Men everywhere are failing. They are being zeroed out, made to feel they are intrinsically bad for simply being a man. For both men and women, feeling worthless, inadequate, and simply not good enough is the great plague of our time, but it is especially bad for men. Rates of depression and mental illness are rapidly climbing as a result. I know what it's like to suffer, to feel like trash, to feel intrinsically defective.
It's extremely painful. It's the reason so many men tune out with excessive TV, video games, comfort food, porn, alcohol and drugs. They are numbing out the pain they feel inside. My goal is to show men a better way. Instead of numbing the pain, we can clear it! We can replace the pain with confidence, love of self, authentic connection with others, and by finding fulfillment in the pursuit of what we want most.
I've seen what a powerful effect this methodology has on both myself and many others, and what a profound, wonderful change occurs when people use it. I'm on a mission to help men realize they're just fine as they are, that they have intrinsic worth, and that by becoming their own champion they can achieve amazing things. It all starts by empowering your inner masculine. If you're willing, I will show you how
My Story
A Shame-Based Upbringing
This is going to get dark, but don’t worry, there’s a happy ending . I grew up in a toxic, extremely shame-based environment. My mother has severe narcissistic personality disorder (“NPD” – read about NPD mothers here). Essentially, she power-trips off constantly manipulating, criticizing, controlling and shaming her children. My father is passive, emotionally absent, occasionally rage-filled, and severely co-dependent. My upbringing was strictly religious; religion coupled with shame was a major avenue for controlling me and my siblings. I was taught that who I was at my core was bad, evil, sinful, inadequate, and defective. The bar of performance, which I had to meet to be worthy of love and acceptance, was always just beyond my capabilities. As children, my siblings and I were rebuked for having any opinion different from that of our parents or church. Playing together in a well-behaved way was ok, but rowdiness or having too much fun we were quickly shut down. We were smothered. We couldn’t breathe or be ourselves.
Being an unusually bright but nerdy child, I often found myself alone, not fitting in, not easily connecting with my peers. I was a target for bullies, and even one of my so-called "best friends" sometimes bullied me. I did however begin playing guitar at 14 and became rather good at it. I also began working out at 15, and by the time I graduated high school I could bench press 240 pounds while weighing only 160 lbs. The jocks and pretty girls started treating me positively, and yet I still felt lonely inside, like I’d never fit in with them.
Manic Depression
In college I developed manic depression. My diagnosis was “extreme depression, mild manias, bipolar type 2”. I grew to hate and loathe myself. Although good-hearted, I felt as if I were somehow a sinner beyond help. I was full of despair. I sometimes thought of suicide. I also felt a great unfairness in life, as if a great injustice had been wrought upon me. Life seemed like a rigged game I was never meant to win, regardless of my efforts.
Mixed in with my depression was an underlying rage. I felt like a rat in a maze with no exit. I raged against God, my parents, or whoever it was that placed me in this exit-less, win-less, confusing maze. I began a spectrum of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. They helped somewhat, but also made me feel numb and made it hard to think. Their brain-clouding effects almost led to my flunking out of college.
About this time I started weekly cognitive behavioral psychotherapy sessions. After a few months, despite the severe warnings of my psychiatrist, I went off my meds and my grades improved from a 1.6 to a 3.75 GPA within two semesters. After a couple years of therapy the “utter living hell” aspect of my depression was behind me, but life was still hard. I still felt like shit although it wasn’t as excruciating as before.
Over the next 15 years I saw therapists on and off, eventually racking up over 100 sessions. These sessions resolved about 60% of my depression, but it took a long time and progress was very slow. By age 38 I wasn’t feeling terrible, but my life wasn’t very good either. I had a decent job, drove a late-model BMW, had the occasional date, and had a few friends. I felt I'd plateaued, however. That things wouldn’t get any better. Moderate anxiety and depression remained. A low-level despair pervaded my existence. I thought this was the best life would get.
The Breakthrough
Then I discovered my mother had narcissistic personality disorder ("NPD"), and that there was specialized treatment available for NPD abuse victims. I started a program that involved listening to audio recordings. These recordings guided me back to my original childhood trauma, resolved the trauma through imagining symbolic imagery, then replacing it with good feelings and beliefs. The first few sessions made me sleepy, although eventually the sleepiness subsided. During my second session, I was drowsily nodding in and out of consciousness. About halfway through I woke up, only to discover I had written myself a text (on my phone) – while I was asleep!
Inner Child
The message said, “when can we meet?” I went to a support forum for those of us using this healing program, and asked what my message meant. One insightful soul said “you’ve been avoiding your inner child your whole life. Now it senses you’re coming back and he wants to meet you”. So true! On reflection I realized I was so ashamed of my masculine nature, who I was at my core, that I was constantly running away from it. I wasn’t an alcoholic or drug addict, but spent many hours watching TV, playing video games, or eating “comfort food” to distract myself from the uncomfortable noise inside me. This noise was my inner child, the core of who I was, hurt and crying for help and attention. And I was avoiding him!
The Bright Spot
After my third session I noticed something new and quite unusual. There was a bright spot of happiness, shining inside me - for no reason at all! I hadn’t had anything great happen that day, and yet I felt this small but very real bright spot inside. I felt it right where my heart was. Weird! This felt foreign. I realized these sessions were having a profound effect. After ten sessions I knew some massive, permanent positive change had occurred. I had hope, even though my outer circumstances remained the same. My depression was evaporating. This was the part of my depression no psychotherapist, and certainly no anti-depressant could ever touch. And yet it was disappearing, being replaced by hope, optimism, happiness and self-love. I started to feel good about myself and life. I could be who I really was!
The authentic, real me was not bad, inadequate, or sinful. It was the best part of me. It had value. I had value, immense value. This strange type of energy healing seemed to me a key to the universe. It opened a whole new dimension of consciousness. Within a few months I had permanently cured myself of all depression, something I’d struggled with for decades. I forgave my parents and felt no more anger or bitterness towards them, God or anyone else. I’d look inside and find this painful trauma that had plagued me was simply gone. This method of healing was massively more effective than conventional counseling. Conventional methods seemed like old technology. To me they are the steam engine. This is nuclear fusion!
Hypnotherapy
A few years later I discovered this healing is actually a type of hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy is not like stage hypnosis. I’d always thought hypnosis would make me unconscious, that I wouldn’t have control or recollection of being hypnotized. Not true. Except when I was very new to hypnosis, I always stayed awake during a session. My conscious mind was still there, but it was off to the side. My subconscious mind was brought to the forefront, where it could quite literally be reprogrammed. Using the language of our subconscious, bad, painful belief systems and trauma can be cleared out and good programs can be plugged in. I knew I had to learn how to use this massively useful tool! I took professional training. I began doing it for others. I saw shocking amounts of rapid, permanent improvement in my clients. Live sessions turned out to be even more effective than listening to audio recorded sessions, which continue to be very effective in their own right. I nearly doubled my income, which is now well into the six figures. I became more successful with women, built muscle, moved to a nicer place, got an even nicer BMW (M2C), and now I even clean my room... most of the time. By permanently changing how I felt about myself my outer circumstances also changed. Unlike in the past I no longer tolerate those who disrespect or try to unfairly manipulate me. Instead of feeling lonely and disconnected, I now feel authentic, meaningful connection with others. Every aspect of my life has improved.
You have the power, you only need to claim it. Clear your trauma and become your own champion, and you improve your inner world. Improve your inner world and your outer world will change to match it. If you let me, I will show you how.